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Men's Guide

If you’re a man, and you’re shopping for a woman, think carefully about what you’re about to do! Buying something for a partner isn’t difficult, and you shouldn’t be worried about it, however there are some simple traps you can fall into. So here is our guide on how to avoid those mistakes.

When you’re shopping for lingerie, you need to think about it in the same way that you would think about any other type of clothing. Just because the general public will not see what you buy, it doesn’t make it any less important that the woman should feel happy with what you’ve bought.

Do you have a track record of buying her things she doesn’t wear? Chances are you’ve never risked it! Lingerie is very often the only type of clothing a man will buy his partner, so try to get it right. Your choice can be very revealing – no pun intended.

Like any item of eveningwear or casual-wear, if she isn’t happy in it, then she’s not going to wear it. And no amount of whining “Please, it’s just for me” will make her feel differently about that you’ve bought. Remember – she wants to look good for you, and if she’s not sure she looks good in it, she won’t enjoy it.

A very rough guide to how she feels about herself can be how tight the other clothes in her wardrobe are. Even women who have what others might consider a “perfect” figure can have body image issues. If she has a selection of very tight-fitting jeans or t-shirts then it suggests she is probably fairly comfortable with herself. Women who tend to wear loose-fitting things are generally more insecure and are less likely to wear something revealing in bed.

Think of the type of person she is, and what she likes. Don’t go for something out of character, and don’t assume that you can aim for something unusually risqué because of the circumstances. Going for something very daring might say more about who you want her to be than who she is, and this can cause offence! However, if she’s dropped hints about a style, an idea or a particular fantasy, such as a costume, then great - be adventurous. Just be sure!

If you’re planning ahead, then try to be subtle and make enquiries when you’re out shopping, or watching television. Sometimes you need not even ask! If a particular type of lingerie, or a colour looks good or bad on another female, you may well hear about it! Try to make a mental note of anything she thinks is tacky or tasteless and work from there.

Take notice of what the rest of her lingerie collection is like. There will likely be recurring colours, styles or materials and you should take this as guidance. Some women for instance prefer thongs, whereas others won’t wear them. What one woman finds sexy another might think is trashy, for example see-through items always seem to divide opinion.

If you’re in any way uncertain, then go for something modest which can’t cause offence, for example a satin or silk baby-doll (not a see-through one!).

Once you’re happy that you’re aiming for the right style, then you need to think about her size. Get this wrong and you could be in hot water. If you buy something too small then she’ll feel fat when she tries it on. Buy something too big and she’ll think that you think she’s fat. You need to find out her correct size either directly or ask her discretely.

You might want to be a bit clever if you’re thinking about a bra set. As eighty per cent of women wear the wrong size bra, you might want to do her a favour and take note of how her current bras fit. Does her cleavage spill over? Does the band ride up at the back? Have a look at our page here about buying bras and you might actually be able to get her a better fitting bra than the one she already has! If you can achieve that, she’ll be extremely grateful at the added comfort.

One final thing to think about is simple but important. Colour. Most women believe a certain colour looks better on them. To an extent it is related to their complexion or hair colour, but for the most part it is personal preference. Again, have a look in her wardrobe, and find out what the dominant colours are. Go for lingerie along the same lines and she will immediately think more positively about it.

If you’re not sure, go for something black, and simple. Avoid tassels and too much embellishment to start off with. Play safe if you’re worried and then the next time I’m sure she’ll have dropped enough hints for you to get better each time you buy!

Good luck!